Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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