It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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