Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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