Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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