My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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