Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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