Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
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if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
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Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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