I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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