The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
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Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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