I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
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The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
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Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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