he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
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Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
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When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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