She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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