I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize