It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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