My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
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i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
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I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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