That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
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