i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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