been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
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There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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