I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Vodka?
Forever.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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