Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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