I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize