My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize