I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
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is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
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You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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