..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize