I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
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He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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