Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
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why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
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We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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