is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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