i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
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