go do what you do best...puke behind churches
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize