I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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