I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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