Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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