just come out here and I will go home with you...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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