Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
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Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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