Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize