look no pants
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize