i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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