I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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