Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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