so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
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The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
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Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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