drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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