I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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