i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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