We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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