I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Its about making memories worth repressing
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
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i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
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How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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