And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize