Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
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is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
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I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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