Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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