I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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