so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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